Got a toothbrush?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
