I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
