it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
