Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
