I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
