i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
