My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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