I must be too annoying 4 u.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
