All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
