Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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