She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
