Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
