I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
