i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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