so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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