I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
