What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dick very happy bro
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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