just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
