I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
