is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize