people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
