You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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