I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
