wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
