No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
