I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize