I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
