The maid of honor just puked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
