The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This is my gift to your gina
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
