the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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