We won't sleep together?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize