I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ttyl tear gas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
