In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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