You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
