yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
