the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
