I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
