Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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