forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
