Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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