dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
