Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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