Little spoons don't ask big questions
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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