I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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