Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
