i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
