I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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