So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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