Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
