He passed out mid-signature
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
