Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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