just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
