I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
