You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
