and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
