So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
