I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this hospital has no fireball
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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