Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
