Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize