NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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