can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
