Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I understand Curling. That high.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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