nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
