I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
