the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
