The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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