Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
