he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
