Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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